sanity is not statistical.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-11-02T21:53:00

2008-11-03T02:54:05Z

Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.
Edward Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 23, p.514

Do boys like this actually exist? Did they? Ever?
IDK.

No, I didn't make this post for the sole purpose of showing off my Bare icon.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-10-21T21:52:00

2008-10-22T01:53:25Z

You know, I always have a billion things to post about here, but I never can think of them when I'm sitting here. It all comes rushing back once my mother kicks me off the computer.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-10-14T22:10:00

2008-10-15T02:33:32Z

Title: Light
Author: xfindyourlight
Fandom; Pairing: Twilight; Edward/Bella, slight Jacob/Bella
Summary: He adores her. He is selfish and hates it, but he loves more than that. Ficlet, canon.

All he ever wants is to protect her. She has no idea how breakable she is, how fragile, how precious. She is clumsy and foolish. She is stubborn. He loves her; she has given him something new, something exciting after those ages of nothingness and darkness.

He didn't believe in love before her. He didn't care before her. Everyone was an open book to him and he was bored and bitter that all his companions had found their light to help move onward through the darkness. He was left behind, unmoving, uncaring, unfeeling.

Then he sees her and everything he thought he'd lost hits him harder than he can imagine and he flees, afraid of what he secretly wanted. But he returns to find anger, worry, fear. All because of her. This human brunette with nothing extraordinary about her except her. She is the most incredible creature he has ever found and owes everything to her, a consept she cannot possibly understand.

She claims she loves him more.
She claims there is nothing special about her.
She claims she cannot be without him.

He knows better. He knows that, had events occurred how they did, she would be sitting here with Jacob, not him. Jacob would perhaps hold her hand and perhaps she would hold his too with time. But he is far too selfish to ever put himself through the misery he knew in those months without her. He worships her so, that he horribly puts her life at risk every second.

He hates himself for being so weak.
(He hates that he is glad he is not so strong.)

So instead of leaving like the good, strong soldier he wanted to be in another lifetime, he carefully (so carefully) brushes his hand against her cheek, enjoying the blush that flushes there. She smiles at him, embarrassed, and his unbeating heart metaphorically soars.

He would give everything to have her smile forever.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-10-14T16:52:00

2008-10-14T20:53:55Z

Lol lab reportzzzz

xfindyourlight's Halloween party:

__itsawarinhere dressed as Steven Spielberg.

__morpheus_ dressed as your mother.

acastleonacloud dressed as the resurrected dead -- complete with the most convincing coffin, though it looked more like Mr. Sulu from "Star Trek".

accio_cowbell dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Buttercup Stinkerbreath".

bellasmommy dressed as Ichabod Crane, the schoolmaster from Sleepy Hollow.

bellaswan gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

broadwaybaby718 dressed as Ivan the Terrible of Russia.

chimericaal dressed as a walking Guillotine.

daikenkai dressed as a quiet skull.

dieaku dressed as a turkey.

drifting_dream dressed as a character from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail".

edwardcullen didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.

fakebody dressed as Sybil - except that Sybil didn't show but the other 25 personalities did, though it looked more like a zombie.

fischybrat dressed as Spongebob, and it suited them disturbingly well.

fragmentideas_x dressed as Camilla Parker-Bowles when she becomes Queen.

girl_is_modern didn't dress up, spoilsport.

hanschenrilow gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as Mary Queen of Scots ... without her head. Most convincing.

heartofachildx dressed as the Cardinal of New Forest.

hurricanetorbay dressed as Elizabeth Regina on steroids and roller skates.

ilikehumanflesh dressed as a very fake witch-doctor complete with a collection of shrunken skulls, and it suited them all too well.

letsmakeacrepe dressed as the love child of Hugh Grant and Milla Jovovich, and it suited them all too well.

lumpydino dressed as Martha Stewart.

mahrie_is dressed as Nosferatu the Supreme Vampire.

mmmkateee dressed as a 1980's yuppie child.

musical_junkie dressed as Marie Antoinette going to her death.

nosleepdreamer dressed as the Lord of Epiura.

nummy_cream_puf dressed as Guy Fawkes but the exploding barrel of dynamite didn't go down too well.

ohthesenumbers dressed as Jerry Bruckheimer.

omfgmish dressed as a fullback for the Jaguars.

onlove dressed as Nicole Richie, and it suited them disturbingly well.

pheep dressed as Optimus Prime.

russiandancing dressed as a Level 10 ranger.

snubullownsyou dressed as Counselor Troi from "Star Trek", and it suited them all too well.

sweet_nothing27 dressed as Sigfried in need of testosterone.

t0rn3ss dressed as a monster from a Resident Evil game.

wicked_hp_egh dressed as something morose, but what, specifically, you can't tell.

xlormp dressed as Helga the wisewoman, although the live snake was a mistake.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created by sigma7: More info here.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-09-17T07:09:00

2008-09-17T11:11:54Z

Happy birthday to me!:]

Posted using TxtLJ

2008-09-10T20:00:51Z

Fuck this. I'm so annoyed.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-09-01T22:43:00

2008-09-02T02:45:06Z

HARRY BOARDED THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS TODAY!!!:]
shut up, I enjoy being a geek.

and my life just got way more complicated. fuck.

Posted using TxtLJ

2008-08-30T04:51:23Z

I am blown away by Hair.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-08-07T11:04:00

2008-08-07T15:05:35Z

Does anyone know how to be a part of a community and not watch it? Because I'm a retard and I can't figure it out and I have hella spam on my friend's page.

I'll post about yesterday later. It was awesomeeeeeeee.

Posted using TxtLJ

2008-08-06T15:47:00Z

I don't know if you actually mean what you're saying. It upsets me. I hope you're just kidding.

Posted using TxtLJ

2008-07-27T20:50:42Z

With the thunder, the whole window shook. I gasped in both shock and awe. I'll never underestimate Mother Nature after seeing that.

Posted using TxtLJ

2008-07-13T03:22:06Z

It's unfair that my dad won't to take me to a cast party because it'll be late when he keeps making pit stops for his own benefit. Now I understand my mom.

Posted using TxtLJ

2008-07-04T04:52:04Z

I want the chance to finally unleash the artsy carefree person I am away from my controlling mother. But I had a good time tonight regardless.

Posted using TxtLJ

2008-07-01T03:04:31Z

Rehearsal was fun today until I noticed the show goes up in two weeks. We are not ready. I cried for the first time in a while on the way home. I'm scared.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-06-22T09:51:00

2008-06-22T13:55:12Z

Shit.

I'm in a production of Footloose and they just changed the schedule so that we're there for a crazy amount of time. It conflicts majorly with my job. They don't care if I come late, but I won't be in any numbers they block/choreograph. Which suckssss. Oh, well. What can you do?

Goodbye, social life!

walking

2008-06-21T00:05:18Z

I'm sunburnt, I have a horrible headache, and I can't find music angry enough for my mood. I don't feel like dealing with everyone tonight.

I don't know if any of my friends are Kingdom Hearts fans, but....

2008-06-18T17:35:41Z

Title: College
Pairing: implied Roxas/Olette
Rating: So ridiculously G.
Author's Notes: Fuck, yes, this is my favorite non-canon pairing ever. It's legit, I swear. Oh, yeah, and this is an AU, just to clarify.

She was quite nervous leaving everything she knew. It had been harder than she could have ever imagined, saying goodbye to all her friends, now scattering like seeds across a field to colleges across the world, and leaving her house and parents. But now she sat in her new dorm room quite alone, abhorring the fact that college was even invented. Her roommate seemed nice, but she had fled to meet boys as soon as her stuff was in the room. She assumed that she wouldn’t see much of Kairi. Pushing back her hatred of walking alone, she dug out her iPod, the only friend she had here, and walked to the school store, hoping to pick up as many books for her classes as she could just to have something to do.

The store was colossal. Everywhere she looked, there were people or shelves or merchandise. It was quite intimidating. Nervously avoiding eye contact, she located about two thirds of the books she would need for her first few weeks; she’d come back for the rest. She paid for her items and cursed herself for forgetting a backpack to carry them in.

Awkwardly, she carried her books in front of her, praying beyond belief that she remembered the way. As she tried to look past her books to see if she was even near the right building, something crashed into her and she toppled onto along with her books.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve been paying more attention,” said a blonde boy, who now kneeled down next to his skateboard to help her with her books. Brushing herself off, she collected those that he missed.

“It’s alright. I should’ve been too,” she answered politely. Though it was annoying that he had knocked her over, at least he had the decency to help.

“Do you need a hand? I think you’ve got a bit more than you can handle,” he said with a smile, still holding some of her books.

“Excuse you, I could’ve made it if you had paid attention to where you were going,” she laughed and he shrugged with a smirk. “But yes, I would so appreciate some help if you don’t mind.”

“It’s the least I can do. I’m Roxas, by the way,” he added, leaning down to pick up his skateboard and taking a few more books from her hands.

“Olette,” she answered.

Maybe Twilight U wouldn’t be so bad after all.

from my room

2008-06-17T03:37:33Z

As of late, I find myself fearing for my sanity. It's quite frightening. Sorry, lj, for such vague entries. My phone won't send long ones.

from a friend's

2008-06-12T17:46:34Z

I don't feel like one of them anymore. And it hurts. I wish I just went home.

this is all.

2008-05-23T00:44:50Z

xfindyourlight @ 2008-04-08T22:09:00

2008-04-09T02:10:05Z

There's something about cinnaman tea that makes one so happy.

xfindyourlight @ 2008-02-16T16:20:00

2008-02-16T21:21:48Z

"Reply to this post, and I will list three things I love about you. Maybe more than three. Then repost to your own journal and spread the love."

Stolen from quite a few people.

I WANT TO SPREAD THE LOVE LIKE PEANUT BUTTAH.<3

MIDTERMS

2008-01-25T03:24:42Z

DIE, DIE, DIE!

yay!

2008-01-21T15:07:45Z

I got cast in Oklahoma!
I'm just ensemble, but, hell, it's better than nothing.:]
This is the first time I've been cast outside of school.
:D
I'm excitedddddd.
And very, very happy.
I don't really like the show particularly, but whatever.
Everything is good.
I'm castable.
Yay.
Yay!

xfindyourlight @ 2008-01-19T22:16:00

2008-01-20T03:20:13Z

MATT AS HANSCHEN.
GERARD AS ERNST.
JESSE AS MELCHIOR.
ALEXANDRA AS WENDLA.
ERYN AS ILSE.

WHY THE FUCK AREN'T I THERE?